I was lonely, homesick, and stressed out. All I did was cry the entire day. From the moment I woke up, I knew it was a bad day. I missed having a roommate I had been friends with since freshman year of high school. I missed being surrounded by friends in an apartment-like dorm room. I missed people saying good-bye to me before leaving class and welcoming me back when I returned. I missed cooking and eating meals with other people. That was my college experience at SSU. I was a fool to leave! Who would have things go so well and decide, "Naw, I think I will just move away and live by myself in another country. Even if I don't get along with my roommates, I'm sure I will make tons of friends." Nope.
It has been hard, but that day was the most difficult. I woke up and was determined to make it a good day. I started to prepare the food of my people, the Californians. Obviously that means Mexican food. Even that had it's obstacles. The chicken was still frozen when I put it in the crock pot. The crock pot also didn't start until I realized an hour later I had forgotten to turn on the outlet (this has seriously been messing with me the entire time I have been here; who needs to turn on an outlet?). I had all the seasonings for the beans except for garlic, and so I had to get out of my PJ's and run down to Costcutters (on campus mini-mart) to get some.
Once it was all settled (just needed to sit and cook), I still felt miserable. A delightful aroma of cumin, paprika, garlic, and guajillo chili powder (fresh ground in the states) was filling the room, but I didn't care. Even before arriving here, I had lost my appetite in the stress of getting my visa. So what was left to do? Cry.
I cried in the shower. I cried after the shower. I cried before my class. I came close to crying during my class. Watery eyes threatened tears when I headed to my room. I cried as soon as I got inside the door. During all of this, my mom tried to support me. She instructed me to get tea and read a book. I told her I needed to compose myself in order to enter the kitchen. To that, she told me to splash cold water on my face. It helped a little bit.
I am very lucky that while she was at work, she took the time to console me and even bought me a "survival kit". I wasn't sure what that meant, and she just said to check amazon. Knitting needles, yarn, and knitting tools were in the basket and set to deliver the next day through amazon prime. She knows me very well.
It was comforting for me to have her talk me through my distress and even call while she was getting coffee for her co-worker.
This support fro her (and also some from a friend who studied abroad here last year) allowed me to make the effort to invite the flat next door over for Mexican food. An entire crockpot full of shredded chicken and even more beans was far more than I needed. And when you are as down in the dumps as I was, people are the cure. But how to tempt them over? Free food. Especially foreign and exciting food.
I was out in the kitchen talking to them until 11. I had a tour of The Gower the next morning, and so I wanted to get to bed early enough to get a decent amount of sleep.
But it was a lot of fun. We discussed a lot of things about America, Canada, the UK, and some of their politics. What I found especially amusing was that one of the Brits did not know that Mount Rushmore was real. He thought it was a constant gag that showed up in American media. I also found out that his uncle owned a Christmas tree farm complete with reindeer. He also said that his uncle hates Christmas and doesn't celebrate it.
All in all, it was a good conclusion to the day. Studying abroad is full of ups and downs. One day you are traveling around Wales and feel like you're on top of the world. The next day you are nearing clinically depressed. It's all about rolling with the punches and trying to put yourself out there. I have a poster on my wall for Inside Out that says right on it, "Every day is full of emotions," and it is very true. From day to day and week to week, a plethora of feelings will be omnipresent. But even if you are homesick and sobbing one day, the next will be better.
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