Bittersweet Transition

Lobo the Seawolf, SSU's mascot

It's becoming more and more real that I will not be returning to Sonoma State University this fall for classes. My friends and roommates from last year will be living in a different place from me. All of my friends and clubs will be out of my life for an entire year. In less than a month I will be on a ten hour flight to the UK.

Although this had already hit while everyone (besides me) was registering for classes last semester, the message sunk in deeper at Big Nite. For those who don't know, Big Nite is Sonoma State's opener for the whole school year. Clubs sit at tables, awaiting for students to recruit. Freshmen, eager to make friends and unaware of the busy life they will soon lead, sign up for as many as they find interesting. There are also carnival games and rides that are transported from the Sonoma County Fair to the student center parking lot. Additinally, there is loud music and many activities.

An idea of what Big Nite looks like.

This is always a fun way for me to start getting pumped up for the upcoming semesters. This year, however, I had a different purpose. This year I went to say my good-byes.

It's funny how disconnected you can feel despite doing the same things as everyone else. I tabled for Intervarsity first along with my old roommate Shannon. We put on our purple shirts and tried to get as many people to fill out contact cards as possible. I wasn't expecting to do this, and it felt strange hearing new recruits say things like, "I'll see you there." I just smiled, but knew differently myself.

The purple shirts we put on to recruit.

After helping out there for a bit, I headed two tables down to SSU All Write!, the creative writing club I was treasurer for last year. The former president had been at Swansea for the previous year, and so it was good to both help recruit members and talk about my future life at Swansea. Also, it gave me one  last chance to be a team with the president. We both joined at the same time and took leadership within the club at the same time. But after one good-bye hug, my time with All Write! got put on hold for a year.

Some members from last year's event with spoken word artist David A. Romero.

Shannon was still out tabling with Intervarsity, and so alone I pushed through the crowds, past some guy with a nearly empty Vodka bottle, and found Psi Chi (international psychology honors society).
They were surprised to see me, but happy all the same. The president gave me a hug and I explained that I wasn't leaving until September 17th. They all wished me well and told me who would be remaining when I got back. They also said that I should try to be on the board when I do return to SSU.

Psi Chi Induction Ceremony, photo of the new members

My last stop for the night was the Rotaract table. Andrea, one of my former roommates and friend in the club, needed me to take over tabling for her a bit so that she could track down the swim club she has been trying to find for months. Unfortunately, the crowd was too densely packed for her to try and find them, but when she came back we were both tabling for Rotaract.

New members to SSU Rotaract as of last semester.

I helped the group pack up and bring supplies to the car after Rotaract was done tabling. One last good-bye hug from Andrea and my night was over. There were still people I did not see at Big Nite that I wanted to say good-bye too, and so perhaps I will make my way to SSU one last time before I leave.

I know it will be just as strange next time I go. SSU has been my home for two years, and now I'm leaving it for an entire year. When I step onto campus, I feel both that it is a place I belong to and a place I don't belong to. After all, I'm not a student there for the fall and spring semesters. I will not be taking classes tomorrow alongside everyone else. I will not be attending meetings for the clubs I so strongly suggested all the incoming freshmen join.

In the end, I know I will be coming back. But I also know it will be different when I do return. Seniors will graduate without me seeing them off. Clubs will change and evolve. Do great things and make memories. But at the same time, I will be different when I return. I will have changed and evolved as well. I too will be making memories, albeit different ones. As strange as it is to leave, it will be even stranger to return.

I expected to miss my family and friends. But going to Big Nite showed me that I will also miss my college community.